A Regular Woman

In A Regular Woman, Aynur is telling her own story, her perspective of what happened. It is the story of a confident young woman who loves life and knows exactly how she wants to live hers. A woman who escapes the violence of her marriage and refuses to let her brothers and parents dictate what she can and cannot do. She gets her own apartment and her son, she apprentices as an electrician and she goes out to meet new men and friends. Although she knows that her behavior goes against her family's tradition and it can put her in danger, her desire for freedom is stronger. However, her brothers' insults and threats get increasingly serious and before long, it is ultimately too late. Based on the story of Hatun Aynur Sürücü, whose murder caused an outcry in 2005. A Regular Woman, originally titled Nur Eine Frau in German, is directed by German-American filmmaker Sherry Hormann, director of the films Silent Shadow, Father's Day, Widows, Guys & Balls, Desert Flower, The Pursuit of Unhappiness, and 3096 Days previously. The screenplay is written by Florian Öller, adapted from the book "Ehrenmord: Ein deutsches Schicksal". This premiered at the Tribeca Film Festival. It opened in Germany in the summer, but has no US release set yet.

A Regular Woman

Bagriacik has to carry the film, and she does it ably, vacillating emotionally between hurt, determination, trust, and feeling betrayal, sometimes within one scene. There is a stillness to the way she portrays Aynur, yet we also see both her inner turmoil and steely determination. Playing a woman with such bravery in what is ultimately a tragic story, is a tall order indeed.

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A regular woman portrays the fate of Hatun Ayhrun Sürücü, a German woman of Turkish descent, and her struggle for a free, self-determined life in the face of her family's opposition. Her brothers refuse to accept her lifestyle; insults and threats continue to escalate. Finally, the young woman reports her oldest brother to the police. She no longer feels safe at home, so she takes her child and moves in with a female friend. At the same time, the family is trying to find a wife for her brother, her future killer. They manage to discipline the young Turkish woman Melek, played by Evin, into becoming a strict, devout Muslim in the space of a few weeks. She is part of their plan, intended to take in and care for the little boy after Hatun is dead. And then the murder is committed.

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This month is great for women and it has gotten more so every year. I grew up at a time when women were shattering glass ceilings left and right and proving that a woman could do any job a man could do. But no matter how many barriers we dismantled others were either revealed or erected. Old tropes about our emotional stability, physical appearance and mental capabilities refused to die. Any great achievement was still being seen as the exception to the rule.

There are great women in this world doing great things. There are many more regular women, living their lives, whose names and faces the world will never know. There are women in this world setting trends and creating habits in a way that will always be able to be traced directly back to them. There are many more regular women, interpreting and incorporating those same trends in a way that becomes the culture without anyone ever knowing how it got that way.

For every fabulous woman we celebrate there is a regular woman doing the best she can to live her life on her terms. For every woman who was able to dedicate her entire self to the pursuit of her goals, there was a regular woman sacrificing something in support of that pursuit. For every role model the world sees there are multitudes of regular women who are setting an example a great woman will someday follow to success.

So, if you are a regular woman, while it can be inspiring to take time each month to celebrate the efforts and accomplishments of great women, it can also make your efforts and accomplishments feel small and unnoticeable. When you see how hard it is just for the few to make it, you begin to feel like your own dreams are destined to remain unfulfilled. When you see the praise heaped on those women society has deemed as fabulous, it can make you feel inadequate in your regular life.

I can look all around me at women I know, regular women like me, who inspire me, guide me, push me, support me and help me get through my day. I have many girlfriends who are as close to me as family who show me examples every day of exemplary womanhood.

We regular women have no reason to downplay our contributions or feel insignificant. We may not make it into the history books but we make history every day as we drag this world closer and closer to gender equity simply by pushing our own boundaries and encouraging the young women in our sphere of influence. We are regular but we are not inconsequential or invisible. We are not silent and we will not be silenced. We are going to continue doing what we do and watch the world follow our lead.

I am a big proponent of returning voices to those who had been robbed of them, of giving narrative agency to the so-called victims. A Regular Woman is a dramatized version of the 2005 honor killing of Aynur Sürücü, a German woman of Kurdish descent, whose life was cut short on the crevice between the cultures of her patriarchal and increasingly indoctrinated family and the secular Berlin in which she preferred to exist. The film is narrated by fictional Aynur and is based on the many accounts given by her friends and chosen family, much of what was dismissed by the court.

The menstrual cycle, which is counted from the first day of one period to the first day of the next, isn't the same for every woman. Menstrual flow might occur every 21 to 35 days and last two to seven days. For the first few years after menstruation begins, long cycles are common. However, menstrual cycles tend to shorten and become more regular as you age.

When you get close to menopause, your cycle might become irregular again. However, because the risk of uterine cancer increases as you age, discuss any irregular bleeding around menopause with your health care provider.

To find out what's normal for you, start keeping a record of your menstrual cycle on a calendar. Begin by tracking your start date every month for several months in a row to identify the regularity of your periods.

For some women, use of birth control pills can help regulate menstrual cycles. Treatment for any underlying problems, such as an eating disorder, also might help. However, some menstrual irregularities can't be prevented.

At first, the young, independent and strong woman lived with her family, but in hopes of a self-determined life, she moved with her son to a hostel for single mothers, despite great resistance from her family. The young mother moved on to an apartment, she consulted a therapist, went back to school to finish her degree, took off her headscarf and began an apprenticeship as an electrician.

"A Regular Woman" does not try to delve into the family's psychological or social situation, but focusses on Aynur and what she has to say. That makes the discrepancy between the dead woman's emotionless voice and her highly emotional story all the more effective.

But Kang seemed to contradict her own statement that it's not about looks recently when she took to Facebook to criticize another viral sensation -- Curvy Girl Lingerie's Facebook campaign encouraging customers to submit photos of "regular" women in their underwear. As Curvy Girl's Chrystal Bougon explained of the idea, "For most of us Curvies, we will have rolls, bumps, lumps, scars, stretch marks, surgery scars, breasts that are natural and that have breast fed our babies. And we can still be STUNNING and BEAUTIFUL." Kang had a different point of view. Writing on Facebook, she declared, "I was a little peeved because while I feel like it's ok to love and accept your body, I think that we're normalizing obesity in our society."

But even plus-size models are still models, leaving some women wanting for even more diverse body imagery to look up to. According to Chrystal Bougon, owner of plus-size lingerie store Curvy Girl, "There are so many pictures of models in lingerie, but I'm constantly asked for pictures of our products on 'regular' bodies... In the fashion world, anything over size 4 is considered plus-size. I know, it's a big joke."

Of course, by stripping down and showing off their unairbrushed, imperfect bodies, Bougon says, the women are making themselves vulnerable to criticism. "We all know some people will hate on these curvy girls, saying mean, nasty things about their beautiful bodies," she stated. "But you never know who you might help or empower when they see they're not the only woman with cellulite, rolls, scars, saggy breasts or stretch marks. After all, life is not Photoshopped!" 041b061a72